


Taking Control

by emjam



Series: lgbtq+ gravity falls [6]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Pacifica Northwest, Child Abuse, Established Relationship, Fluff, Genderqueer Mabel Pines, Haircuts, Kinda Found Family, LGBTQ Themes, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Nonbinary Character, Other, Physical Abuse (not explicitly shown), Post-Canon, Presentation, binding, impromptu sleepover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:41:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22195714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emjam/pseuds/emjam
Summary: "Clouds shadowed the town, pressing down upon it. Pacifica was grateful for her hoodie. The drenched hood was tightened to hug her face and plaster her soaking hair to her head. Her left cheek stung. She had balled her fists into her pockets."Pacifica visits the Pines residence after something goes wrong at home. Stan talks to her and Mabel helps her out.(This takes place around 2015/2016.)
Relationships: Pacifica Northwest & Stan Pines, Pacifica Northwest/Mabel Pines
Series: lgbtq+ gravity falls [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/582943
Comments: 32
Kudos: 173





	Taking Control

**Author's Note:**

> this is an ok standalone but is directly connected to the chaptered work in this series called an ongoing process, because that's where I introduce Pacifica's made-up title for her partner: "glitterfriend". Also, I for some reason have chest binder consistency in this series, as Mabel's chest binder designs reference the previous work in this series.
> 
> there is mention of and aftermath of physical abuse in this fic, but not the event itself.
> 
> safe reading and enjoy! <3

It was pouring rain.

The water sloshed around Pacifica’s feet, seeping into her designer shoes. She didn’t really care, though - she hadn’t cared about that sort of thing for a while. Her parents still did, but that was another story. Rainwater squelched between her toes as she walked through the wet streets, climbing towards the woods and the Pines’ shack.

Clouds shadowed the town, pressing down upon it. Pacifica was grateful for her hoodie. The drenched hood was tightened to hug her face and plaster her soaking hair to her head. Her left cheek stung. She had balled her fists into her pockets.

Pacifica marched a march of resolution past the inhabited section of Gravity Falls and found herself surrounded by familiar pines. The rain hit a little softer here, some of it catching on the needles of the trees. It was still wet and gross, though.

Eventually she made it to the Pines’ place. Warm light filtered through the windows - a stark contrast to the dark rain outside. It was just what she needed. She uncurled a fist from her pocket and knocked on the worn front door, and waited. A trickle of slimy rain had managed to get past her hood and slide down her neck. She shivered.

“Can one o’ ya kids get the door!” Came a muffled shout. Other unintelligible noises could be heard from inside. After a moment, the door creaked open.

“We’re not buyin’ anything,” Stan Pines grumbled. Then he blinked. “Oh. It’s you. Come in, I guess.”

Pacifica rubbed her arm self-consciously and took small steps into the light within. She was dripping water all over the floor. Mabel had told her multiple times that it was okay and that the hardwood was warped enough - it was used to it - but the thought of messing up someone’s front room still made her automatically nervous. “Thanks, Mr. Pines. Where’s Dr. Pines?”

Stan shut the door behind her and locked an unusual amount of locks in the process. “Napping. The dumb idiot doesn’t know when to take a break, I tell him, so -” He turned to her and the words died in his mouth. “What happened to yer face, kid?”

“Oh, that, uh - I fell in a bush,” Pacifica stammered.

“No ya didn’t.” It wasn’t a firm accusation. It was oddly gentle. The old man knelt down with a series of concerning cracking noises. “Oof. Lemme take a look, okay?”

Silently, Pacifica nodded, pushing down the swell of shame that arose. The Pines’ grunkle took a closer look at her face, at the reddened skin on her left cheek. It was vaguely shaped like a handprint. “Who hit ya, sweetie?”

Bitterly, Pacifica muttered, “You probably have an idea.” Tears welled up that she desperately tried to push down. She flushed with warm embarrassment.

Stan, for some reason, looked absolutely enraged for her. “I swear, I’m gonna kill those Northwests someday and make it look like an accident,” he muttered. Pacifica thought it was a joke but she couldn’t be sure. “I’ll grab you an ice pack, alright?”

She nodded again and waited as Stan disappeared into the kitchen. A moment later, he reemerged with a _Mr. Men_ Little Miss Sunshine ice pack, with the “Miss” crossed out in Sharpie and replaced with “Mx” - probably Mabel’s doing. He dutifully wrapped the ice pack in a paper towel and handed it to Pacifica. She took it, the pack chilling her fingers, and pressed it to her stinging cheek.

“Why’d they do that to you?” Stan asked bluntly.

“I did something they didn’t like.” As always. She pulled her soaked hood down. Soft, short strands of hair brushed her wet forehead and tickled her ears. It was nice not to have a heavy ponytail or braid weighing her down. The haircut was freeing, for a short while, and then her parents saw.

Stan took one look at her pixie cut and nodded. “Seems like something they’d hate. You got guts, kid.”

“Thanks,” she smiled, hesitantly. “Can I go see Mabel now?”

“Sure thing, I ain’t stopping you. Just wanted to make sure you’re all taken care of. And, listen…” His serious countenance sort of frightened Pacifica, who had only ever seen the face of a schemer or jokester on Stan before. “What your parents think, it doesn’t mean shit. I’m serious. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re happy. You hear me?”

Speechless, Pacifica could only nod again, like a bobblehead.

“Good,” Stan said. “You can always visit the shack and stay as long as you need to if your parents are raggin’ on ya. If they’re hurting you in any way for any reason at all, you come on over, alright?” There was frightening vulnerability in his eyes.

Pacifica forced herself not to shy away. “Okay.” She looked down at the floor and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Thanks, Mr. Pines.”

“No problem. I gotta get back to my shows. Mabel is upstairs with aer brother.” The old man muttered to himself and shambled back into the living room, which was lit only with the dull flashes of a TV screen. Pacifica’s eyes lingered on the… tattoo? on Stan’s back for a split second, and then she headed up the creaky steps to the attic.

“Ooh, I’d know that creak anywhere!” Someone shouted from behind the door to Dipper and Mabel’s bedroom. Pacifica had an idea of who that person was, and scrambled to shove the ice pack in her pocket. She was proven right when the door swung open and Mabel popped out. “Your shoes always make this cute little squeak on the stairs!” Ae exclaimed.

“Hi, Mabes.” Pacifica smiled wearily. It wasn’t the glittery cat sweater that did it, but it sure helped. “I’m staying over tonight.” She ignored a conditioned shudder at staying in the home of a ‘commoner.’ That sort of thing was bullshit, and besides, the Pines family was anything _but_ common.

“Oh, is Pacifica here?” Dipper’s voice came from somewhere within the bedroom.

“Yeah!” Mabel smiled, showing off aer recently braces-less teeth. Ae had been very proud of aer new status as braces-free and sent maybe twenty different photos of aer smile to Pacifica right after that orthodontist appointment. The texts blew up Pacifica’s phone, but she didn’t really mind.

Suddenly, Mabel zeroed in on Pacifica, scrutinizing her face. "Whoa, Paz! You got…"

Pacifica inhaled.

"...a haircut!"

Harsh exhale.

“Yeah.” Pacifica’s smile came a little easier now. “I was getting sick of the long hair schtick. You like it?”

“ _Like_ it?!” Mabel gasped. “Paz, I _love_ it!” Ae pulled aer girlfriend into aer arms. Pacifica grunted in surprise, but soon wrapped her arms around her glitterfriend in return. Mabel’s hair smelled like vanilla, and Pacifica’s chin came to rest on the holographic pink strap of aer binder that was peeking out from the loose collar of aer sweater. “It looks great on you! It’s so cute!” Mabel yelled.

“Oh my god, Mabel, I’m trying to read,” Dipper grumbled from his bed, accompanied by the sharp sound of a turning page.

Mabel pulled aerself away from Pacifica and turned to Dipper. “Dipperrr, I _know_ , but you’ve been reading that smart spacey stuff for, like, an hour. Take a break for a second and come look at my _girlfriend!_ ”

Pacifica’s face heated up, but she couldn’t resist a small smile.

Amazingly, Dipper temporarily put down the copy of _A Voyage to Arcturus_ that had been blocking his view. “Oh, hey, that haircut looks great, Paz.”

“Thanks.” Pacifica touched the wet strands hanging over her face. “Actually, it would probably look a bit better if it were dry.”

“On it!” Mabel immediately scrambled out of the room. Ae wasn’t gone for long, though - the door was quickly battered into the wall again by an excited Mabel with a bathroom towel. “Towel attack!” Ae quiet-yelled, and jumped at Pacifica with the fluffy towel in hand.

“Ahh! Mabel!” Pacifica shouted, laughter creeping into her voice. Her glitterfriend was gently but firmly rubbing the towel all over her head. “I can’t see!”

Mabel giggled. “This is the price you pay for dry hair! Rahhh!” After a little bit more of the thorough towel treatment, ae freed aer girlfriend from the white fluffy monster that had attacked her head. “Now it’s dry!”

Pacifica couldn’t stop herself from giggling too. She felt odd strands of hair sticking up all over the place. It probably looked stupid. She didn’t care. “Thanks Mabes. I was starting to worry that I looked dumb with all that wet hair,” she joked with irony. “Now I have… anti-gravity hair? Just what I needed.” Pacifica smiled and kissed Mabel’s cheek.

Dipper made fake gagging noises from behind his book.

* * *

White moonbeams poured over the attic floor. Dipper was sleeping soundly, his novel abandoned on the ground and his legs tangled up in his sheets. Across the way, Mabel had aer arms loosely wrapped around Pacifica, using one hand to delicately stroke the hair that rested softly on Pacifica’s forehead. They were huddled together, silently sharing space.

In the dark, facing away from the milky moonlight, Pacifica whispered, “Hey Mabel?”

“Yeah?”

Pacifica closed her eyes and leaned into Mabel’s arms. “My dad hit me.”

Mabel tightened aer grip protectively. “That’s that mark on your face, right?”

Pacifica opened her eyes to the shadowed ceiling. “How’d you know?”

“I didn’t. But I figured something happened. And that maybe you’d want to tell me, but only when you were ready.” Mabel curled around aer girlfriend. “I also already kinda thought that maybe you got hurt by your parents. But I guess I didn’t want to believe it, so I didn’t say anything at first.” Ae exhaled, aer breath tickling Pacifica’s skin. “That was silly. I’m sorry.”

“No!” Pacifica lowered her voice. “No, it’s okay, I didn’t even want to _say_ anything at first. Actually… actually, thanks for being so fun and nonchalant when you saw me. I… really needed that.”

“I’ll always be your fun for you, you know that,” Mabel said. “If ya need some silliness in your life, I’m your girl.” Aer face contorted. “Eugh. Person, I mean.”

“You’re my favorite person,” Pacifica murmured into Mabel’s collarbone. “Everyone else can fuck off.”

Mabel let out a huff of a laugh. “Especially your parents. They can double-fuck off.”

“Triple-fuck off,” Pacifica raised.

“How about we just agree on infinity?” Mabel kissed the top of her head. “Why did they do that to you?” Some blankets shifted on top of the repositioning of their legs. “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to!” Ae hurried.

“No, um… it was because of my haircut.”

Mabel practically crushed Pacifica to aer chest. “Infinity-fuck off.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Pacifica tried not to sound like she was crying.

“Paz…”

She clung to aer. “I hate how much they want me to just be a nice girly trophy for them. Like I’m not a person. I hate looking how they want me to.”

“Is that why you cut your hair?”

Pacifica nodded against her glitterfriend’s chest. “I never get to look how I want to. We’re not even mega rich anymore, just kinda rich, and we don’t have our mansion to host huge parties in, but they _still_ care more about how the family looks than how the family feels. It doesn’t even feel like a family.”

Mabel scooted backwards a little bit and gave Pacifica the space to cry. “We can be your family,” ae reassured. “I don’t think my grunkles would mind another niece.”

Pacifica sniffed. “Thanks… Mr. Pines said something kinda like that too. He noticed right away, actually, that something had happened, and told me I could always come here.”

“Yeah, he would,” Mabel breathed - whatever Pacifica said, it must have been significant.

“It was nice.” Pacifica smiled despite herself. “Nice to be taken seriously for once, as a person that can want trivial stuff - like haircuts, and boots that are allowed to get muddy,” she mumbled.

Mabel gently rubbed her back. “Can I ask you something?”

“‘Yeah?”

“So, I get how you don’t like how your parents make you look a certain way. Are you… I mean, do you feel like a girl?”

Pacifica looked past Mabel for a moment, considering the question. “Yeah, I think I do. But I’m not the kind of girl they want me to be. I don’t even know the kind of girl _I_ want to be, ‘cause they always choose for me.”

“Hmm.” Mabel thought and thought, and then ae suddenly smiled, grin breaking out from ear to ear. “Wanna have a late-night no-holds-barred fashion show?”

Even though today was long, and cold, and hurtful, Mabel had managed once again to make Pacifica giggle. “Sure, why not?”

* * *

Mabel dragged along the suitcase ae apparently never even bothered to unpack - because of course ae didn’t. If it could function like a portable wardrobe, ae would use it like a portable wardrobe. This summer saw Mabel rotating aer clothes from the washer to the dryer and right back to the suitcase they had been transported to Gravity Falls in. Ae had more important stuff to worry about than folding aer clothes and leaving them in a dusty ol’ dresser.

Its battered old wheels clunked over the doorway of the bathroom and clattered to rest on the chipped tile. Slowly, Mabel leaned back and shut the bathroom door behind aer and Pacifica. “Success!” Ae shout-whispered.

Pacifica cringed at the entire affair. “Everything sounds so much louder at midnight,” she groaned.

“Ha, it’s alright, Dipper can sleep through a tornado.” Ae laid the suitcase down on the tiled floor and threw it open. “What’re you going for, girl?”

“Huh.” Pacifica never really got to think about that question before. What _was_ she going for? Sweet and modern? Alternative? Minimalist? Did she want a more boyish look, or to keep some of her girly flair? Or did she want total androgyny?

As Mabel maneuvered the suitcase, the folded-up holographic binder sitting in it reflected the bathroom light.

“Actually, can I, um, try one of your binders? I’m just curious.”

“Gasp! Of course you can!” Ae immediately dove into aer luggage. “Don’t wear this one, I gotta wash it.” Ae tossed the pink holographic one behind aer. “Drumroll please!”

Pacifica humored aer with a light drumroll noise befitting a midnight sleepover.

“And… ta-da!” Ae whipped out a binder covered with cute kittens. Because of course ae did. “I’m chunkier than you, so this’ll definitely fit.” Ae passed it to Pacifica, who shimmied out of her clothes and began to pull the garment over her head.

“Uh…” Pacifica’s arms were stuck. “A little help, Mabes?” Pacifica felt the chill of hands on her back as Mabel helped tug the binder down until it properly hugged her torso. “Thanks.” She twisted and turned in front of the bathroom mirror. “This is more comfortable than I thought it would be.”

“Right? And this one’s probably big on you so it’s even comfier!”

Pacifica smiled at her reflection. She really, really liked how it looked. It wasn’t a gender thing, it was more about queering her presentation. It felt good to stray away from her parents’ expectations in such an extreme way. While wearing kittens, even. “I might have to get one of these binder things.”

Mabel grabbed her hand with urgency. Ae stared into her eyes. “Get one that matches one of mine.”

They tried on a bunch of clothes together. The tiny rectangular bathroom turned into a runway for Pacifica’s new looks as she played with her style. Despite expectations, Mabel _did_ actually own clothes that were quiet and less femme - maybe for aer own presentation curiosities. Pacifica made good use of her glitterfriend’s more plain sweaters and casual jeans, loving how they looked with her newly-cropped hair. Taking control felt _good_.

She posed dramatically in an outfit she was swiftly growing to like. It made Mabel laugh and the sound coaxed a blush out of her. She smoothed down the front of the large black sweatshirt over her understated chest. Bleached jeans contrasted the top. They were obviously men’s jeans, a bit too wide for Pacifica’s hips and a bit too short on her, but she liked the way they were cut: not to draw people’s eyes, just to cover her damn legs.

Mabel snaked an arm around her own. “You look so darn cute,” ae told her seriously.

“Really?” She felt like her smile was gonna break her face.

“Yes!”

* * *

Dipper woke up at four AM, which wasn’t great, but whatever, he could deal. He slid out of bed, intending to get a cup of water.

The attic window illuminated the sleeping forms of his sibling and aer girlfriend. They were sprawled out across aer bed directly on top of the covers. For some reason Pacifica had fallen asleep in jeans and a sweatshirt that she definitely did not arrive in. Mabel’s luggage bag was left open on the floor, a few shirts and bottoms stuffed lazily in it.

He shook his head. Whatever they were doing earlier, they were knocked out now.

Mabel snuggled closer to aer girlfriend and smiled in aer sleep.

Now with a smile of his own, Dipper tiptoed out of the room to go get his water.

**Author's Note:**

> as always in this series, dipper is trans but it literally never comes up in this one so I didn't tag it this time.
> 
> also, the book Dipper was reading is real and contains the first recorded usage of the pronouns set that Mabel uses! they were invented for an alien species in the book.


End file.
